The View From Here
by intoxiquelavie
Summary: Jenny Humphrey left the Upper East Side hated, depressed, and lonely. But in London, she has potential. In London, she is no one.
1. This Side of The Sea

It was all a bit strange. She'd always admired the Upper East Side. The glitz, the glamour, Gossip Girl. It had been her dream to be known. To have her name plastered across website pages and text blasts. But it was so far from her mind now that she hardly remembered why she had strived for it in the first place. She boarded her plane an ex-Queen. Hated and shamed by her fellow New Yorkers. She departed a nobody. London didn't know her. They didn't follow her every mistake. They didn't care about her.

And Jenny Humphrey loved that.

She slipped into the doorway of her new dorm room with a sigh and a smile. It had been a long trip. Her dad had called four times and left voicemails just checking in. But she had made it. And she was more than happy to sleep off her first night before calling anyone. She pulled off her black boots, took off her dangling earrings, and passed out the moment her head hit the pillow.

By mid-day she'd ventured into town with a map and half a pack of cigarettes. She was bound to get lost. She had known it from the moment she left the campus of her new college. But Jenny was alright with wandering. She didn't feel like anybody was watching her, and she hadn't been able to experience that in a long time. She fussed with her fishnets and pulled her leather jacket tighter before deciding it was time for a smoke.

_Click, click._ That damning feeling of a lighter that has run dry right at the moment you need it. She cursed to herself and threw the plastic to the ground in spite.

"Oi. Need a light?"

She turned to see a man with a crooked smile, hand outstretched with an etched Zippo. He was pale, plain, but something about him held her interest. Perhaps it was the notion that he would never have made it on the Upper East Side. Perhaps it was the glint in his eyes that told her he was looking for trouble.

A short stride to his place and a friendly smile. Jenny inhaled the first drag and looked at him closer.

"You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a good meal, would you?"

He smiled, eyes traveling her thin frame, and offered an arm. "I'm headed to meet some mates for a drink. Might as well come along before the scoundrels come out."

She was hesitant. It wasn't likely that he was taking her somewhere with any other intent than to get in her pants. Or make a mockery of her. But then, it wasn't Manhattan. She was just a tourist. And he was offering her an invitation. She'd sworn off drinks after Chuck Bass. But perhaps just this once, she'd be daring.

"Who the fuck is she?"

Jenny stiffened at the animosity. She was clearly intruding on something and she wasn't ready to cause drama just yet. She stopped in her tracks but Cook pulled her along. He wasn't letting go of her so soon.

"Shut up, Naomi. She's not here for you."

The tall blonde felt eyes running over her and a discomfort boiled in her stomach. Already she was unwanted. She just wanted to leave. She could turn away and find her way back to the college without causing any trouble.

"Fuck, Cook. She's fit. Sit down. Have a drink."

She obliged, not wanting to insult Cook or the brunette who had invited her. Silence. That crooked smile. Already his features were becoming more attractive to her. She smiled politely and stared at her hands.

"This here's Freddie, JJ, Naomi, and Effy. And this is Jenny. She's here from New York. So I figured we could show her a good time. Britain style."

A smile across Effy's face helped her to relax a bit. Only Naomi seemed turned off. Perhaps it was common. Perhaps the girl was just turned off to the idea of any new person. She'd seen it plenty at Constance. Even in Hudson. But she had been known in Hudson. She'd been revered as royalty. Hudson had been too close to New York for her to disappear. There was far more water separating her now.


	2. Talk Is Cheap

It was all a bit of a blur. She couldn't quite recall how she'd ended up in the middle of a bed, in an unkown room, beside Effy. She could taste vomit on her breath and knew that she'd probably had too much to drink far too fast. Or just in general. As hard as she thought she was, she'd never been a party girl. She's helped transport drugs, but never done them. She'd had a drink or three at a club but never get much further than that. Last night she had been broken. London had attempted to test her limits and she'd wound up failing quite miserably.

If she thought hard enough, through the rushing head and the sour stomach, she could recall a few looks of pity, some jokes about lightweights, and a label of pathetic. She felt horrendous. Jenny knew that any attempt to make friends had just gone south. She wasn't cut out for this crowd. She'd flunked initiation.

She picked up her boots and stumbled towards the bathroom where she intended to at least gargle some stolen mouthwash but instead collided with nearly naked Cook. He smirked at her with that lopsided grin. "Glad to see you up and aware. Didn't think you would be too good. Not used to drinking are yeh?"

She wanted to run. To hide her face, which she was certain had pounds of smudged makeup. Instead she took a page from Brooklyn. "New York is generally martinis and blackmail. Not vodka and cocaine."

His grin widened and a small chuckle came forth. "Well, love, it's all a party with this lot. And yer always welcome to join." With that he stepped to the side to allow her entry to the bathroom. And turned to face her once she was swishing the minty liquid through her teeth. "Could I interest you in breakfast?"

She had passed on breakfast. Partly because she'd already embarrassed herself enough, partly because she knew that missing her orientation would be troublesome. It was best to keep her father happy and unaware. So instead of giving herself a shot at redemption, she spent the next hour walking around campus and being told things she already knew. Cafeteria here, laundry room there, blah blah blah. She'd had plenty of time on the plane ride over to memorize her map and read through the guide book.

She stared out into the rain with a sigh. Jenny knew that she hadn't taken the initiative to get a phone number from any of the people she'd met last night. She figured the chance of running into a stranger in this town more than once was slim. It wasn't New York. Nobody had Gossip Girl to track down the big names of the city. But she reminded herself that this was better.

With a small groan she decided it was time to eat. She'd yet to fill her mini fridge with anything other than sparkling water and grapes from the trip. It didn't exactly count as sustenance. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and removed the heavier make up from her face. The rain would mess it all up. Instead she stuck to mascara and eyeliner with a bright red lip.

She found him on the stairs. Piercing blue eyes that saw straight through her. It stopped her in her tracks. Caught her off guard with a heart in her throat. He smiled up at her and turned away from the door he had been about to enter. Jenny found the strength to move again just in time to avoid being awkward. She smiled and offered a name as he approached, clearly making new plans.

"Jennifer. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

She tried to hide the blush in her cheeks but failed. He hadn't given his name, but instead took her hand and placed a soft kiss upon it. She'd seen this before. It was the kind of old fashioned grace that Chuck Bass had thrown around trying to make girls who meant nothing to him feel special. She could sense the similarities in the two men. He was too outwardly kind, too polite. It was as though she knew he was manipulative simply for being the opposite. Just like with Chuck, it drew her in.

"I'm sure a man as dashing as yourself must have a fitting name." She wanted to push him. To gain some footing in the exchange they were having. If only to be put back again.

"Tony. Care for a drink?" He held up a bottle of champagne from inside his jacket and she was impressed. Either he'd been meeting someone else tonight, or he was impeccably well prepared for a chance introduction in the stairwell. It didn't stop her from inviting him to her dorm room. She didn't have a roommate yet so she figured there was nobody around to mind. Besides, champagne wouldn't get her into any trouble. Champagne she was used to. It was an acceptable beverage in the world she had been living. You could have three glasses and nobody would whisper behind a hand to let the room know you had a problem.

Three drinks in and she's reading the bottle to see there is way more alcohol in her system than she is used to. His lips are on her neck and she's realizing that once again she's put herself in this position. Where she's lonely, and upset, and drunk with a man who will probably cause her more harm than good. But one more drink and she doesn't care. And when she wakes up alone, with nothing but the empty bottle to prove that it wasn't a dream, she's accepted it.


	3. So Hard To Pretend

Jenny learned quickly how to wear a hangover. The inability to sleep more than a few hours had helped. She covered the bags under her eyes, nursed the headache with aspirin,and felt grateful for the lefover sparkling water. Her eyes were still red, but no more so than someone who'd just rolled out of urge to sleep through English was intense enough that she was happy to hide her drooping eyelids behind a pair of dark sunglasses. It was a miserable feeling. More so than knowing that the only people she seemed comfortable enough to share herself with considered her a throwaway. She meant nothing to them. She felt nothing towards them. It was a circle of emptiness that began to eat away at her by the end of her last class.

It was in the cafeteria that she heard the text tone. She ignored it for a moment, finishing her salad and taking in the sights of her classmates who seemed instantly boring to her. She couldn't even pretend to be interested. But when she finally stared down at the phone and saw blue eyes so intense they were nearly purple, she felt her breath catch. It was Effy. The girl she'd convinced herself she would never hear from again.

Imagine her excitement at another invitation. Another chance to redeem herself. The smile spread from ear to ear as she responded very quickly with a confirmation. She'd be there. Wherever it was. Whatever time. She was in. Jenny ran to her room as fast as her legs could carry her and procedded to spend way too long trying to look like she had put no effort at all into her appearance. Twelve outfits passed the mirror before she was satisfied. She could do this. She'd fight her way to a comfortable place in the group of firends.

After she'd left New York, she'd sworn to never fall into the dangers of trying to impress anyone again. She was failing already. She wanted to be accepted. She wanted to be admired. Jenny Humphrey would always be fighting for a spot on the top. And just like with Blair, she admired the woman calling the shots. But Effy was different. Effy was welcoming and warm. She cared. Even in the day she'd known her, Jenny had learned that.

She showed up two minutes early to the address on her phone. A small townhouse in a rather boring neighborhood. When Effy greeted her, she wondered what was going on. It wasn't a party. There was no music, no crowd of teenagers in the room behind her. There was a plain house. Unnotable furniture. A formal dinner setting.

"So, hey. Surprise! My brother is in town and mum was doing a dinner for him. She wanted me to invite someone and you were thte only one who wasn't busy. I normally wouldn't but, it was for Tony, really."

Jenny swallowed hard at the mention of that name. Tony. It was impossible for this Tony to be the same one she was trying to forget. No chance in the world could she have met a guy who happened to be related to the only other person she'd talked to. She didn't respond though, and walked in to the house with a smile.

And then she saw him. Clear as day. The man who had brought champagne and had been latched to her neck less than 24 hours prior, was sitting in the chair beside the porch. Those eyes ran straight through her again. And she should have known. Effy turned to introduce him and he held out a hand.

She felt sick as his lips moved, remembering them on her stomach and her thighs. He was reintroducing himself and that made it worse. As though he'd never met her before. It tore through her the same way Chuck's exasperated call for Blair had when he fucked her. She was nothing. She would always be nothing. She was a body to look at, to use, and to forget.

Dinner was a matter of going through the motions. Laughing when everyone else did, smiling often, and pitching in a few small answers when asked. As dessert came to a close she excused herself to the deck for a cigarette, holding the railing for support. She needed time to breathe. She heard the door behind her open and felt herself silently pray. But of course it was Tony.

"I see you've met my sister." He pulled out a joint and lit the end. "Quite the surprise."

"I see you decided it was easier to pretend you'd never met me." Jenny chided, taking a drag.

"I don't know you, though. Not really. I fucked you. That hardly counts as knowing you. I'd like to know you."

Just as she was about to respond, Effy joined them on the porch. She took a drag from the joint Tony was holding and smiled. "You taking us out tonight, Tone?"

"I was just about to offer."


End file.
